I’v tried to move on…Trust me i really have! But the thing is, i’m still in love with you! You were, like they say in the songs, my drug that i couldn’t get enough of. I spent all my time with you, and now being with out you is like tryin to stop a drug your addicted to…it’s impossible and it’s killing me! All our memories come crashing in on me like a tidle wave on the beach, there is no stopping it. Like the night we met…not as sweet as it could have been, but still remembering you stading there beneath the light post, where we made many more meomories, with your friends is illuminating. I remember the next two weeks that followed, we got to know each other quite well mentally and finally we kissed…on the edge of my bed. Your lips so soft, it made my heart beat just the slitest bit faster. Months went by and we were perfect, well as perfect as life can get with another here on earth…We texted all the time, spent all our free time together, and loved each other like there was no tomorrow. I remember one night i was crying and you told me to listen to “in the dark” by tiesto, how it said not to worry because it’ll be fine beacuse you will always be there with me going through the same things. And the day you told me you were gonna ask me to marry you, i never asked for any of it, you brought it up first, you not me!!! I can remember the nights at your house like it was yesterday, laying on the couch as you held me in your arms, i never wanted it to end. Spending almost every summer day at the jumps with everyone. And even though you think i hated going down town, the truth is i loved it! I loved being apart of that part of your life. I remember when you use to ride your bike to my house beacuse that was the only way we could see eachother…and the time you brought me the plank with my name welded on it. The nights we spent in front of your house, waiting for my sister, and in the winter you would hold me so close to you that i could hear your heart beat. I remember the nights we layed next to eachother and just looked out at the stars, and you pointed out the little dipper to me. i remember the first time we stayed at nics together, i layed on your chest and the rhythm of your heart put me right to sleep. And when we got so close we couldn’t bare to be apart for more than a few hours. The first time we were together was on my bed in the front room, my heart raced as we layed down and you kissed my neck…you were so nervouse that by the time you got the condom on you were half way soft again…i told you it was fine, cuz i myself was just as nervous..we layed down and started to relax and started kissing again, which lead to ***, i was shaking a little but i knew being with you was right, It felt like the world had just stopped and we were the only two people on earth. I remember everything with you like it just happened yesterday, and sometimes i wish it was all just a bad dream and i will awake up in your arms. I wouldn’t change anything we did together because i know we were madly in love when it all happened. We were so naive and in love….But some where along the line we became two completely different people, moving in two completely different directions. But it still pains me to be without you, after becoming so familiar with your presence. I don’t see how we could have drifted so far apart…remembering things from the beggining is the hardest, because thats when we were the happiest. I know things had to end with the direction we were headed, i know if we had stayed together we would still be fighting and we would completely hate eachother…i just wish we could go back to the way things use to be. But now i dont even know you and you don’t know me..the break up forced me to change and some good ways but other pretty bad. And now all i want for you is for you to be happy and to know that i will always love you!

<3 always and forever your ex boo

Can’t fall asleep at night knowing your never coming back :’[

I thought missing you while we were a couple but not together was hard

But i had no idea how it felt to not have you at all…

This is the worst feeling i’v ever felt

It’s tearing me apart lil by lil

Wish you could have seen what you ment to me

:/

I hate the fact that your what made my world go round

Before i met you i was so lost in this world

But you grabbed my hand and lead me back to the road i should have been following

You made things seem so clear

You made me feel like i had a purrpose in this world

You shielded me from all the pain and confusion

You made things seem so good, like when i 4 and knew nothing of the crewl world

You gave me hope for things to come

I looked up to you in everyway

I tryed to make you happy, but i guess my love wasn’t enough

When i met you i knew you were different

But now your just like the rest of them

I wish we could go back

Back to the place we once were

Where you made things feel right

Because now that your gone i’v fallen off track once again

I needed you by my side and still do

But you hurt me so bad idk how it could be the same again

Don’t know how i could look you in the eyes and say i love you

Feel secure from your touch

And lose everything else bc ur my world

I gave it up for you once idk how i could do it a second time

But truth is baby i probably would

After being with you i dont know how to be strong on my own

How to move on like u had no effect on me

I dont know how to forget what we had

How could i just forget?

You stole my innocence

I know i say it’s your lose for not being with me,

But the thing is you seem to be the happy one

But how could that be?

How could you be happy with where things ended up?

Just can’t get you out my head..can’t forgrt what we had…I wanna move on but the thing is you still got my heart, got me all wrapped up in you :/ cuz when i had told you i loved you i ment it baby, why couldn’t you have??

I lied

When i said i was over you

And everything we had

Im not over it

Im not over any of it at all

I miss your smile, your laugh, your touch

I want you back

I want to hold you again

I miss you telling me you love me

Before i go to sleep everynight

I miss your comfort

I miss your presence in my life

I want you back

I want you to hold me again

And make all my worries dissapear

You made things easier

You made me want to live

Now i dont know

I dont know what i want

All i can do is cry lately

Beacuse being without you

Is the worst feeling i have ever felt

I’v tryed to forget

Forget about you and all we shared

Forget how u made me smile

Foget how we played

I tryed to forget all the things that happened

The one thing i wish i could truely forget

Is how you hurt me so bad

But the thing is it all happened

And i will never forget

I dont regret any bit of our time together

I wish we had it back

But i know it would never be the same

I wish i could move on and be happy without you

But the thing is you still have my heart

And im too scared to ask for it back

Damn!!! What is every guy fake?!! Like you have got to be kiding me right?? I have been delt a crappy hand when it comes to guys!!! Like fuck this shit!!! I’m ready to just give up on it all it ain’t worth it!!

Sitting at home

Skippin school

With Britt

Thinkin bout him

Eatin popcorn

Drikin my kool aid

tryin not to spill it in my hair again

Well as good as its gonna get

On a school day anyways :P

To Him

I’m over you

And all u DIDN’T offer

I’m over that smile

Your eyes, and nose

I’m over your laugh

Your touch

And even your love?

I’m over what we had

I’m over the past i had with you

I’m moving on

I found someone new

For he knows what to say

What to do

To make me happy

To make me feel special

He knows what hes got

Unlike you

You had no idea what you were losing

I hope you miss me now

Because i’m over you

Never thought

Thought i’d feel this way

About a guy

After what he did

But you

Your oh so different

You take my breath

Steal my gravity

My world is upside down

Now that you have come

But i like this world you bring me to

It brings butterflies and hopes for my dreams to come true

You make me smile like no other

The tears,

They dissapear when you come around

My heart aches for the day that i may see you

I tremble in thought of feeling your skin on mine

To see you in front of me

Oh what a dream it is

One day it may come

But for now i guess

gravity must come back in play

The butterflies must go

And the tears will continue

I drink to forget

Forget the pain you have caused

In runs deep in my heart, my mind, my soul

Im sittin here lost without you

The liquor only soothes me for a short while

Till the thought of you comes running back

The pain comes crawling in again,

From a dark corner in the back of my head

I drink some more until its gone again

I repeat these steps over and over,

Until finally i dont remember the night

Your like a whisper from far away

Lost forever, never to return

We had our chance and now

its gone, never to rekindle

You left me for Her

So caught up in all her lust

You forgot about me and our love we shared

Wanting you came so naturally

Loving you was as easy as 1, 2, 3

Asleep in ur arms was like having a piece of heaven on earth

Lost in ur love the other pains dissapeared

But now ur gone it all comes rushing back

Noone to protect me now

Im all alone in this cold, cold world

Alone to cry,

Alone to hate what surrounds me

I hope one day you remember

You remember me and all i brought you

Remember the pain you caused

The heart you broke that never dared to hurt yours

Remember our past, our love

Remember so that you may feel what i feel now